Sunday, August 30, 2009

Things.....

As you grow older you identify the things that you need to let go of and you do. You remember back on some pretty spectacular experiences and hold those memories so close to you. You have days when you feel all that you have are those memories. And you lose things that you want back. Desperately. There have been gaping holes left in your heart that no amount of living will ever fill. Each night you silently pray to a God that you don't understand. Tonight I quietly reflect on the things that I have lost and have left gaping holes in my heart. Holes I have tried to fill but they are bottomless.

My Grandmother, Forestine. I wish that everyone in the world has had someone like my Grandmother in their life.

Ben. My dog. I hope everyone has a pet at some point in their life that loved them like Ben loved me. And I him.

My innocence. I have learned about HIV. Genocide. War. Poverty. Rape. Guns. I know too much about the world.

My ability to Trust. That is a subject and list in itself.

My ability to love freely. That too is another subject and several lists.

The human spirit is remarkable. Tonight even with all those holes my heart feels whole.

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