Be Afraid of the Monster

Every little kid is afraid of the monster under the bed or the bogey man in the closet. We shake under the covers wanting to believe that our parents are right and nothing is there. Our little imaginations run wild. Where do these crazy thoughts even come from. Television in my case I guess. Perhaps boy scout camp fire stories. I guess it doesn't really matter. As an adult I know they are not true. But they are true. There are scary monsters and bogey men out there. They are in front of us every day however like the fable says they are wolves in sheep's clothing.

What makes them really scary is that we invite these monsters into our homes. We break bread with them. We prepare the guest room. Put out fresh towels. We constantly justify why they should continue to stay. We will even start fighting for them thinking that they are no longer monsters but our best friend. They aren't. They are just monsters.

The gig is up. I am on too them now. Perhaps that is the real gift of being in your forties. The ability to see the real monsters in your life and ask them to leave.

I gave notice today to one of my monsters. I have told it to pack it's bags and get out. I have never seem myself so calm as I quietly told the little monster not to even look back because I wouldn't be there this time. I am finally finished. I am the first to admit we had a lot of good times but the good times are really over. I have given it three days to pack and get out. Why three? Based on everything I have read it takes three days. So for the next three days every time the monster creeps into my thoughts, every time I hear it whisper you still want me, every time a familiar sent drifts through the air I will stand firm and say no....go. I have smoked my last cigarette.