It seems to me that I am not updating my blog much this month. It is just that I haven't felt like I have wanted to share lately. There is lots going on. I have come to the conclusion that since I am a Leo and therefore will have nine lives. Once again I feel like I am wrapping up my most recent life and am about to embark on yet another life. I will say it certainly keeps things interesting and I am rarely bored. Lost, yes. Unsure of what the next phase will look like, definitly. I used to envy those people that seem to know exactly where they are going. But I actually have come to like not knowing where I am going. Every day is truly a surprise for me.....so I leave you with a segment of my astrological charts and wish you as many lifes as you want....
Uranus opposition Pluto: Sweeping changes
End of May 2006 until end of January 2008: Now is the time to make sweeping changes, not only in your consciousness, but also in the circumstances in which you live. Conditions that have been developing slowly will force major changes upon you now. If you are flexible, you will be able to start a whole new phase of life, even though you may have thought that the time for new starts in your life is past. You will have a new birth of awareness, and you will be able to deal with your life unhampered by old patterns of thought that have limited you.
But if you cannot adapt and be flexible, this will be a period of great turmoil and stress as you try desperately to hold on to circumstances, possessions and relationships that no longer have any real function in your life. What you are trying to save is not something real, it is only an illusion.
The impetus for change may come through persons who present you with many upsetting surprises, all of which show that your life is no longer what is was. The key point to recognize is that this process is not bad for you, it is just upsetting at first until you get into the flow of events. It can be quite exciting and will certainly inject an element of youth into your life again, with the advantage that now you will have the wisdom to handle it properly.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Monday, May 21, 2007
10 Things I Learned This Week
It was a week of highs and lows...........
1. Sometimes friends carry heavy secrets.
2. Friends will trust you enough to share that secret.
3. For all I have lived and learned I can still feel helpless in a second.
4. The universe brought into my life the friends I needed this week. They gave me something to hold onto and didn't even know they were doing it.
5. Delightful surprises happen when you least expect it.
6. I am in my forties and still feel sexy.
7. Internal peace and love are hard to hold onto, but worth the fight.
8. I still find it hard to be brave.
9. I still have no idea where I am going.
10. The best I can do is continue to be me.
1. Sometimes friends carry heavy secrets.
2. Friends will trust you enough to share that secret.
3. For all I have lived and learned I can still feel helpless in a second.
4. The universe brought into my life the friends I needed this week. They gave me something to hold onto and didn't even know they were doing it.
5. Delightful surprises happen when you least expect it.
6. I am in my forties and still feel sexy.
7. Internal peace and love are hard to hold onto, but worth the fight.
8. I still find it hard to be brave.
9. I still have no idea where I am going.
10. The best I can do is continue to be me.
Friday, May 11, 2007
We Will Rock You
I like to think of myself as a pretty simple person that is easy to please. Sometimes though that is not always the case. Last night I went to see We Will Rock You. I was hoping to be rocked. I wasn't. When I think about them planning the production of the show I envision a group of creative people sitting around a table saying..."Let's take some hit songs and string them together into a story, and it should be a love story, with conflict. And it should be funny, but also make a statement. There should be some dance numbers and lots of singing and let's keep the set simple....oh and after the show we will end with the whole cast coming back on stage and do a sing-a-long thing with the audience....get them all up dancing."
Brilliant idea. When it was done a decade ago. It was called Mama Mia and it was spectacular. I loved Mama Mia and have seen it three times over the last decade and would happily see it again. Perhaps when I am in New York.
We Will Rock You failed on almost every level. It definitely felt like they took the winning formula from Mama Mia and tried to make it work.
With Mama Mia the songs fit into the story line. We Will Rock You was words and then song. The story they were trying to tell just didn't work with the songs.
The dancing...bad. I am watching Dancing With The Stars and if choreographers can teach these stars new dance steps each week, then surely for a big musical production they could have come up with something a little better. Sofonda's backup dancers are now looking pretty good.
While some of the lines in the show were cute, they felt forced. The feeling of we want people to laugh so insert joke here. And some of the one liners were bad. It is always diffcult when you choice to be funny by making fun of an issue someone may be facing, even if they are a celebrity. It usually comes off in poor taste rather than funny.
I was mildly entertained. I had moments of boredom. I was kind of glad that it ended. And the big sing-a-long at the end, didn't really happen. How could it? The show lacked energy so it is difficult to expect the entire audience to jump to their feet and dance and sing-a-long.
Go see it if you need to get out of the house for the evening...other than that consider it a pass.
Brilliant idea. When it was done a decade ago. It was called Mama Mia and it was spectacular. I loved Mama Mia and have seen it three times over the last decade and would happily see it again. Perhaps when I am in New York.
We Will Rock You failed on almost every level. It definitely felt like they took the winning formula from Mama Mia and tried to make it work.
With Mama Mia the songs fit into the story line. We Will Rock You was words and then song. The story they were trying to tell just didn't work with the songs.
The dancing...bad. I am watching Dancing With The Stars and if choreographers can teach these stars new dance steps each week, then surely for a big musical production they could have come up with something a little better. Sofonda's backup dancers are now looking pretty good.
While some of the lines in the show were cute, they felt forced. The feeling of we want people to laugh so insert joke here. And some of the one liners were bad. It is always diffcult when you choice to be funny by making fun of an issue someone may be facing, even if they are a celebrity. It usually comes off in poor taste rather than funny.
I was mildly entertained. I had moments of boredom. I was kind of glad that it ended. And the big sing-a-long at the end, didn't really happen. How could it? The show lacked energy so it is difficult to expect the entire audience to jump to their feet and dance and sing-a-long.
Go see it if you need to get out of the house for the evening...other than that consider it a pass.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Restless
It has been a tripy weekend that has left me restless. I hate this feeling. I am throwing so much energy into moving forward. New job, will soon move to my new place, doing the bike rally has brought focus into my "get healthier" kick. But the past, as much as we want to leave it behind, somehow continues to haunt us. Friday night I went out to a movie with someone I dated last summer. Someone I cared very much for. Someone I loved just for who he was.
It was weird. Walking to his place. The same doorman. Really the same energy between us. We were always just comfortable together. I guess I am haunted by the fact that during the time we dated he never let me in. He included me in activities, but never really let me in.
I was glad for the evening and loved spending time with him. It was more that it left me with the feeling once again that I love people that find it so hard to accept love. I see the pattern. It is so clear. I wonder if it is left over from my relationship with my mother. There is someone that constantly pushes away the love I have to give her. I have never been able to figure out what she is so afraid of and have stopped trying. In the process, over the years, I have found another mother in my friend Vicki. It is true and would break my mother's heart. But it is also true that you can only push someone away so many times and then eventually they stop coming back. I am grateful for Vicki, who has provided me with so much guidance.
But alas, my love life. It seems there is also a pattern of loving people that won't let themselves be available. I think it is perhaps because that is the only way I had learned how to love. To keep giving it all and having it rejected. Sounds painful? It is.
But perhaps it is because these people do push love away is what makes me want to give them more. To let them know it is okay to love. Completely. Freely. I wonder if they are afraid that one day it may go away. I wish I could teach them that it doesn't. I still love every person that I have ever loved. Whether they are still walking amongst us or whether I haven't spoken to them in years. I still love them. And I want nothing in return for the love I feel other than it not to be so scary for some of them.
It is rare for me to ever say this, but tonight, I wish I wasn't me.
It was weird. Walking to his place. The same doorman. Really the same energy between us. We were always just comfortable together. I guess I am haunted by the fact that during the time we dated he never let me in. He included me in activities, but never really let me in.
I was glad for the evening and loved spending time with him. It was more that it left me with the feeling once again that I love people that find it so hard to accept love. I see the pattern. It is so clear. I wonder if it is left over from my relationship with my mother. There is someone that constantly pushes away the love I have to give her. I have never been able to figure out what she is so afraid of and have stopped trying. In the process, over the years, I have found another mother in my friend Vicki. It is true and would break my mother's heart. But it is also true that you can only push someone away so many times and then eventually they stop coming back. I am grateful for Vicki, who has provided me with so much guidance.
But alas, my love life. It seems there is also a pattern of loving people that won't let themselves be available. I think it is perhaps because that is the only way I had learned how to love. To keep giving it all and having it rejected. Sounds painful? It is.
But perhaps it is because these people do push love away is what makes me want to give them more. To let them know it is okay to love. Completely. Freely. I wonder if they are afraid that one day it may go away. I wish I could teach them that it doesn't. I still love every person that I have ever loved. Whether they are still walking amongst us or whether I haven't spoken to them in years. I still love them. And I want nothing in return for the love I feel other than it not to be so scary for some of them.
It is rare for me to ever say this, but tonight, I wish I wasn't me.
It's Spring
I love the beginning of each season. My favourite element of the changing seasons is that I change with each season so it keeps me from getting bored. And I love Toronto in the spring. We still have so much green space downtown. I love walking the streets as everything starts to bloom. The greens are so vibrant and the streets start to become vibrant again. Everyone emerges from their winter seclusion. The streets are a live with people. You just want to be outdoors. You don't even have to do anything other than just be outdoors and enjoying the sun. The training for the bike ride has been wonderful for that. I have actually loved getting up saturday morning and doing the training rides. This from someone who isn't exactly a morning person. Go on out and enjoy this day.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Edmonton
I have spent the last four days in Edmonton. I attend a conference for work each spring and like to go a couple of days early to hang out in the city that it is being held in. Last year at this time, I was in Victoria. I loved it. The year before that, Quebec City. I loved it. This year in Edmonton. I was looking forward to it. The thing about me is that I see all the signs along way but don't believe them. The first sign was at the airport Saturday morning waiting to board. I love to people watch so I was looking around and taking it all in. I certainly noticed that is was a....well, I hate to sound shallow, but an ugly crowd. Not a men, women, nor child had a nice face, body, clothes...I didn't know men still wore grey sweatpants. Not a lululemon outfit in sight.
The gods love to challenge me so I had the joy of a middle seat between a man who smelled and a man with more nose hairs than I have hair on my head.
The ride from the airport provided me with a view of the landscape that was very American. Long stretches of wide roads with one box something after another. But that didn't phase me. I was staying downtown where all the fun was. This is probably their version of Mississauga. I knew downtown would be stunning.
I was staying at the Fairmount and it is a beautiful stunning hotel but I later found it is the truly only nice building in the city.
I asked at the front desk where the "cute, quaint, sexy" parts of the city were located. The ones with great coffee shops, art galleries, great clothing stores, bistros. The gave me two spots, one was 124th Street, the other was Whyte Avenue. So off I go to 124th Street. Well let's just say there were no cute coffee shops, one cute clothing store, one bistro, a couple galleries, and a few gas stations. There was nothing sexy or charming, or vibrant or anything about this part of town. To top it all off it was really windy and the streets were dirty so I felt like I was always eating a dirt sandwich and had something in my eye.
I gave up and bought some wine and went back to the hotel room and read. The next day I was up early. Still believing that this was a fabulous town off I went to Whyte Avenue. It was a lovely walk through the park land. And much to my surprise Whyte Avenue was, well, not as depressing as 124th Street, but really only a slight notch above. Now to give it credit it did have a lululemon store, and a Chapters, a couple Starbucks....and the rest...um..a car dealership. A car dealership? Not charming or sexy or well..what can I say?
Back downtown I go....there is a Holt's. I don't really even care for Holt's but I was desperate for something remotely attractive. Bad news...even Holt's sucks there.
A coworker suggested that we go to the West Edmonton Mall. I mean we had the choice between that or touring the pension offices of the Alberta Pension Plan. West Edmonton Mall won. Actually it lost. The office tour would have been more fun than West Edmonton Mall. I give up. I hate Edmonton. God love me I tried.
I told my boss how much I was hating being there and he replied, "Me too...I can take almost anything but the dried puke on the sidewalk...". Well that pretty much closed the deal.
To me, Edmonton is the place you go when you no longer have any dreams.
The gods love to challenge me so I had the joy of a middle seat between a man who smelled and a man with more nose hairs than I have hair on my head.
The ride from the airport provided me with a view of the landscape that was very American. Long stretches of wide roads with one box something after another. But that didn't phase me. I was staying downtown where all the fun was. This is probably their version of Mississauga. I knew downtown would be stunning.
I was staying at the Fairmount and it is a beautiful stunning hotel but I later found it is the truly only nice building in the city.
I asked at the front desk where the "cute, quaint, sexy" parts of the city were located. The ones with great coffee shops, art galleries, great clothing stores, bistros. The gave me two spots, one was 124th Street, the other was Whyte Avenue. So off I go to 124th Street. Well let's just say there were no cute coffee shops, one cute clothing store, one bistro, a couple galleries, and a few gas stations. There was nothing sexy or charming, or vibrant or anything about this part of town. To top it all off it was really windy and the streets were dirty so I felt like I was always eating a dirt sandwich and had something in my eye.
I gave up and bought some wine and went back to the hotel room and read. The next day I was up early. Still believing that this was a fabulous town off I went to Whyte Avenue. It was a lovely walk through the park land. And much to my surprise Whyte Avenue was, well, not as depressing as 124th Street, but really only a slight notch above. Now to give it credit it did have a lululemon store, and a Chapters, a couple Starbucks....and the rest...um..a car dealership. A car dealership? Not charming or sexy or well..what can I say?
Back downtown I go....there is a Holt's. I don't really even care for Holt's but I was desperate for something remotely attractive. Bad news...even Holt's sucks there.
A coworker suggested that we go to the West Edmonton Mall. I mean we had the choice between that or touring the pension offices of the Alberta Pension Plan. West Edmonton Mall won. Actually it lost. The office tour would have been more fun than West Edmonton Mall. I give up. I hate Edmonton. God love me I tried.
I told my boss how much I was hating being there and he replied, "Me too...I can take almost anything but the dried puke on the sidewalk...". Well that pretty much closed the deal.
To me, Edmonton is the place you go when you no longer have any dreams.
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