Edmonton

I have spent the last four days in Edmonton. I attend a conference for work each spring and like to go a couple of days early to hang out in the city that it is being held in. Last year at this time, I was in Victoria. I loved it. The year before that, Quebec City. I loved it. This year in Edmonton. I was looking forward to it. The thing about me is that I see all the signs along way but don't believe them. The first sign was at the airport Saturday morning waiting to board. I love to people watch so I was looking around and taking it all in. I certainly noticed that is was a....well, I hate to sound shallow, but an ugly crowd. Not a men, women, nor child had a nice face, body, clothes...I didn't know men still wore grey sweatpants. Not a lululemon outfit in sight.

The gods love to challenge me so I had the joy of a middle seat between a man who smelled and a man with more nose hairs than I have hair on my head.

The ride from the airport provided me with a view of the landscape that was very American. Long stretches of wide roads with one box something after another. But that didn't phase me. I was staying downtown where all the fun was. This is probably their version of Mississauga. I knew downtown would be stunning.

I was staying at the Fairmount and it is a beautiful stunning hotel but I later found it is the truly only nice building in the city.

I asked at the front desk where the "cute, quaint, sexy" parts of the city were located. The ones with great coffee shops, art galleries, great clothing stores, bistros. The gave me two spots, one was 124th Street, the other was Whyte Avenue. So off I go to 124th Street. Well let's just say there were no cute coffee shops, one cute clothing store, one bistro, a couple galleries, and a few gas stations. There was nothing sexy or charming, or vibrant or anything about this part of town. To top it all off it was really windy and the streets were dirty so I felt like I was always eating a dirt sandwich and had something in my eye.

I gave up and bought some wine and went back to the hotel room and read. The next day I was up early. Still believing that this was a fabulous town off I went to Whyte Avenue. It was a lovely walk through the park land. And much to my surprise Whyte Avenue was, well, not as depressing as 124th Street, but really only a slight notch above. Now to give it credit it did have a lululemon store, and a Chapters, a couple Starbucks....and the rest...um..a car dealership. A car dealership? Not charming or sexy or well..what can I say?

Back downtown I go....there is a Holt's. I don't really even care for Holt's but I was desperate for something remotely attractive. Bad news...even Holt's sucks there.

A coworker suggested that we go to the West Edmonton Mall. I mean we had the choice between that or touring the pension offices of the Alberta Pension Plan. West Edmonton Mall won. Actually it lost. The office tour would have been more fun than West Edmonton Mall. I give up. I hate Edmonton. God love me I tried.

I told my boss how much I was hating being there and he replied, "Me too...I can take almost anything but the dried puke on the sidewalk...". Well that pretty much closed the deal.

To me, Edmonton is the place you go when you no longer have any dreams.