Being judgmental

I had asked my sister what her New Year's goals were. She had two, the first to be a kinder person, and two to wear more jewelry. She said you should always have a fun one. I fuckin' love my sister. She is so cool. But being a kinder person. Wow, that is something I have been working so hard on for the last year.

And it is a lot harder than you think. I try to be kind and grateful everything I deal with someone and not pass judgment, but it is hard. I try to remind myself that I don't know their story, what got them to the place they are at today.

When we were young did we even dream about what our lives would be like. I guess I did but it was pretty vague. I had a sheltered childhood so I wasn't exactly exposed to the world. What a learning experience it has been.

I do find we live in a very unkind world. I am not taking about weapons of mass destruction. I am talking about the big city and the small rural towns. I am talking about our tongues and judgments. The nasty gossip in small town Ontario is unbelievable and everyone thinks they know exactly what is going on in someone's life and are quick to share an opinion. I hated it growing up. Kids teasing me about things that were going on with my mother. It was awful. Kids teasing me about being gay. Fuck, honey, I was trying to figure it all out. I didn't exactly know what was going. I have no idea how they were so sure. If you don't mind I prefer to figure myself out. Don't think I need your help, but thanks. It gets real hard to feel good about yourself.

That is probably why I wanted to move to Toronto so bad was to get away from it all in the city. Well the city can be just as unkind. And somedays I am no better. But I will keep trying. I know I am getting better. I chose my words when encountering someone carefully these days. When I say something I really try to mean it. And I appreciate the people that have given me feedback. People really do appreciate kindness. If you want to leave an incredible footprint on someone's soul, anyone's soul, just be kind to them. You will find they never forgot you. Overtime you forget the people who were unkind you. It isn't worth the energy. Those kids from high school that picked on me, I couldn't describe one of them. Not a single detail. But ask me about the people who were kind to me. I remember every detail. There are memories that I can bring up that are just like watching a movie.

You want to be unforgettable in life. Be kind. And there are so many other benefits that will result.